my cousin accidently texted me instead of his wife

cousin: guess who's got two thumbs, a dick, and wants to rub himself against you like a tom cat in heat? THIS GUY. [nude picture of said cousin pointing at himself with both thumbs and an erection]
cousin: oh fuck oh fuck
cousin: broomy oh fuck no don't look shut your eyes
me: I NEVER KNEW YOU FELT THIS WAY
me: OUR LOVE IS FORBIDDEN BUT STRONG
cousin: no please don't
me: COME, MY WILD AND YOWLING TOM CAT. COME AND TAKE ME FOR I AM YOURS FOREVER.
cousin: I hate you.


+







letuslovelarry:

letuslovelarry:

IMAGINE LOUIS RIDING THAT

image

oh and it’s up to you to decide if I’m talking about the motorcycle or about harry



diancie:

mainheaux:

Look at this contouring god

Not sure how to feel about this. The end product is cute tho.



spookyfiretruckingcupcake:

miss-love:

if I ever see a girl in public who is clearly going for something really bold with her look (crazy hair, makeup, outfit) and looks like she’s maybe uncomfortable or nervous about rocking it, I make sure to go up to her and tell her she looks fierce. It took a lot of courage to go out like that and somebody ought to notice.

changes lives. be sure to do that at least once a day.

you’re the type of person this world needs

bless you



bestofcardsagainsthumanity:

I imagine that this excuse would be valid for 99% of my missed homework assignments. 











darmani:

thatkilljoy:

chromeofficial:

nothing is more satisfying than someone walking right past ur hiding spot in hide and seek

how old are you

"thatkilljoy" living up to the url i see





a-fairytale-in-a-blue-box:

i just went from aw to wtf